Finally! A selfie stick I can actually get behind. Or under. Or over, even, depending on my mood. A couple of weeks ago, in a splendid scene of suburban domesticity, I’d made a batch of gnocchi and we were eating them at his table while watching a little porn.
Not the kind I’d normally pick - a squirting video where a creepy guy (wearing an already-damp t-shirt) deploys the “gold standard” G-spot stimulation technique - I gestured to the supine lady still pulsing on screen. "This,” I said, jabbing my finger at her contractions, “is why I don’t understand how women get away with faking orgasms.” Rhetoric of course. In fact, I understand it perfectly well.
So sorry about the brief absence - turned out that I had to go to Canada last week to have a really crap time. Observations about Canada are limited to the fact that they love ice hockey, curling, snow and, apparently, stereotypes - never let it be said that I don't bring you insight along with the webspaff.
Anyway, to be honest I'm not really overburdened with desire to wax lyrical about anything much up top here this week - go and look at the weblinks, and be thankful your legs still work.
OH, AND DONATE/SUBSCRIBE TO IMPERICA YOU SODDING INGRATES, IT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN BLOODY WELL DO.
Sorry, that was rude. I do love and appreciate you, I promise.
This, webmongs, as ever, is Web Curios.
“What is privacy today?” asked Tony Oursler in a conversation with Adrian Searle at Lisson Gallery in January. The dystopian ‘Big Brother’ state espoused by George Orwell has been readily discussed as a prediction for our future. Many would agree that our privacy is being gradually and methodically eroded by a creeping culture of monitoring and surveillance.
Someone in Ogilvy should really have seen this coming. The Advertising Standards Authority has banned an ad under its "Harm and offence" rule for smartphone manufacturer Kazam, claiming that its "overtly sexual" nature bore no relation to the product.
It is estimated that around 45 million people pass through London's King's Cross station every year. This country-sized transient population need ease of access, amenities and, to be monitored. Protection of transport infrastructure is both important for the safety of individuals and for the operation of the state.
King's Cross, before its current reincarnation, was selected to be the prominent stage for the July 7th terrorist bombings. The news in 2005 relayed grainy CCTV footage of four young men carrying large backpacks in the since partially blocked up tunnel between King's Cross Underground Station and the out-of-service King's Cross Thameslink station. Like the attacks on the World Trade Centre in September 2001 and the commuter train bombings Madrid in 2004, transport infrastructure became stage and weapon, for terrorism directed at Western states with interests in the Middle East.
I'm meant to be getting a train to Brighton REALLY SOON, so don't really have time for the upfront bit today. SORRY. Rest assured, though, that in the absence of anything resembling journalistic standards in certain sections of the UK media, Web Curios is guaranteed 100% to be completely JAM-PACKED wwith stuff filched off other people who found it first (you can't say fairer than that - CURATION!).
Whilst I go to get rained on at the seaside, you get comfortable, settle down and listen, as this week's stream-of-consciousness internet stylings get dripped slowly into your ear - though whether it's honey or Shakespearean poison, only time will tell. THAT'S RIGHT, WEBMONGS, IT'S WEB CURIOS!
The Earth recently entered a new epoch – the Anthropocene. Since the dawn of modern mechanised industry and the use of fossil fuels, the story goes that human beings have become the dominant force for change in our atmosphere, seas and land.
Why are we so obsessed with how children play? It is a rich topic certainly; the mind’s ear resonates with the innocent delight of shrieks and yells, it carries us back to (hopefully) carefree reveries, and also crystallises some modern-day anxieties. Perhaps our romantic notions show some of the shortcomings of urban life. From planning and preparation, the careful scheduling of naps, the chauffeuring between parks and wet-play, our rational fear of unsupervised unstructured bedlam out beyond a clear line of sight, up into the trees and out onto streets. Not to mention getting them off the iPad to begin with. Why can’t it be like it was when we were growing up? ‘Child-led play’ has moved from being the natural default to a new metric in our parental optimisation schedule. How well is the city adapted to these needs? This question seems to be undecided.
James Hoff's interest in viruses and glitched media has taken many forms over the years, ranging from Stuxnet (Cufflinks containing USB sticks infected with the virus of the same name) to the wonderfully-named I just called to say ILOVEU (iPhone ringtones contaminated with the ILOVEU virus). Hoff is back to infect with Blaster, an album of infected beats.