THIS WAS MEANT TO BE THE SUMMER! Jesus, this would never have happened under a marginally more left-wing Government. Hey ho, I suppose I should be grateful - weather such as this tends to nudge my readership even higher into the two-figure stratosphere than usual.
Anyway, the big news story of the week (or at least the big news story for people who can afford themselves the luxury of quibbling about whether a news story is the biggest of the week or not) is so tedious as to render me almost completely without comment (other than to suggest that the holier-than-thou attitudes of certain sponsors is VERY FUNNY INDEED. You, er, didn't seem to care at all about where all your tens of millions went up 'til this week, did you VISA, you dreadful sh1tbags you? Despite the persistent stench of corruption and greed which has been hovering around that particular corner of Switzerland for YEARS. FUNNY THAT).
So I'm going to ignore that this week, and instead dedicate this week's outpourings to the man standing next to me on the 155 last night at around 750pm who was very loudly discussing his purchase of (and I quote) "1k of ket, 1k of mephedrone, 1.5ks of gear and 1000 pills". Shout out that man for his CRAZY WEEKEND PLANS. And now, webmongs, come with me into the corner where we'll quickly palm something offered to us by the suspiciously bug-eyed wrongman - is it an upper? Is it a downer? Either way, what comes next will leave you feeling dry-mouthed, uncertain and very, very alone. THIS IS WEB CURIOS!