Web Curios 21/06/13

Web Curios 21/06/13

GAH! SO MUCH TO DO! I am meant to be going on a stag do in about 2 hours; that's not going to happen. I simply don't have TIME to do a linky recap of stuff that's been going on this week - look, BrazilSaatchiSyriaInternetpr0nVICEGraffitiStuartHallCannesLions...there you go. There's been other stuff too but that's probably covered below. Happy Friday, EVERYONE - read, enjoy and bask in the skin-flaying intensity that is a full week's worth of Web Curios. I'm off to soak my typing fingers in a waterbath for a bit.

 
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Web Curios 14/06/13

Web Curios 14/06/13

Before we start, let's get one thing straight - YOU CANNOT GET INTO TROUBLE FOR READING WEB CURIOS. The Government does not mind. Your employer might, admittedly, but the Government? They couldn't give a flying one

Yep, this week's been dominated by PRISM and related things - more on that below, but up here you can see what the internet would look like without PRISM companiessome ways you can hide from it all (PROTIP - THERE IS NOWHERE TO HIDE), the really scary stuff about how people have been spying on you FOR AGES, and the inevitable Twitter parody account. What more could you ask for? What do you mean, 'the ability to freely access information without surveillance?' BURN THE COMMUNISTS!

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Web Curios 07/06/13

Web Curios 07/06/13

Another week, another 7 days to get reacquainted with the feeling that there is simply too much stuff happening all the time and there is simply NO WAY we can keep up and God it's stressful I JUST WANT TO SLOW DOWN FOR A SECOND. 

Ahem. Obviously the big thing this week has been Turkey, and assorted issues around the protests there and how they are being received by society and media. It was also the week, though, when we were given a heartbreaking reminder of Bradley Manning's continued existence, we learnt that romance REALLY IS now dead (although perhaps less so if you are an anarchist), that American PSAs really do give the best life advice, that you can make surprisingly effective points whilst wearing a watermelon bra, and that some people are REALLY good at YoYoing

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Web Curios 31/05/13

Web Curios 31/05/13

HELLO WEBMONGS! Things are somewhat more cheery this week, helped in no small part by the 4-day week. God love the 4-day week (admittedly I worked on Monday, but you get the point). Anyway, it's been a decent few days - I went to Field Day and saw some bands, along with several thousand people who ALL LOOKED THE SAME, I saw THEATRE, did really, really badly in a pub quiz but redeemed myself with unexpected knowledge of the lyrics to this masterpiece, and found this great little video of an amorous giraffe. Nobel Prizes have been awarded for less. 

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Web Curios 24/05/13

Web Curios 24/05/13

I had a whole thing worked out for this first bit, featuring a really romantic story that cannot fail to warm your heart, a couple of gags about the new XBox, the best reaction to classrooom criticism you'll ever see, and the best wrong number text message conversation you will ever see

And then Wednesday happened, and I sort of lost the appetite for it somewhat. It would be funny to see idiots all over the internet blaming otherwise-blameless fabrics 'muslins' for everything were it not so incredibly depressing. 

Anyway, onwards with the stuff. Thank heavens for the bank holiday.
*looks outside*

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Web Curios 17/05/13

Web Curios 17/05/13

It was pointed out to me this week that, were you to click on every single link in this thing as well as reading my overblown prose, the whole thing would take you about 7 hours to get through. Look, what can I say? I'm SORRY. It's just that there's a lot of stuff out there and I WANT TO SHOW YOU ALL OF IT. Just bear in mind that no one reads everything (except me) - really, no one, not even my mum. You're under no obligation. Although obviously it's ALL GOLD.

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Web Curios 10/05/13

Web Curios 10/05/13

HELLO! I know we always say this, but it really has been an odd week. Between the collective media furore over a septuagenarian's retirement, the sad death of the king of the skellingtons, a very odd thing happening in the world of hiphop, the internet elevating an unlikely hero to cult status (whether for good or ill), the startling revelation that maybe the whole otherkin thing has been made up by bored teenagers, the best Google doodle yet, and the unveiling of almost certainly the oddest (worst?) centenary mascot ever devised, there's been a lot going on. 

I was being best man at a wedding last weekend, which meant that I had scarcely ANY TIME to read the internet. So if you've seen everything that follows already, tough luck. I'm only bloody human, you know. STOP PICKING ON ME. In any case, let me take you by the hand and lead you through the websites of the internet; I will show you something that will make you...er...question the wisdom of clicking any of these links, quite possibly. ONWARDS! 

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Web Curios 03/05/13

Web Curios 03/05/13

You now how ordinarily I write some stuff here about the last week, what I've done, etc etc etc? This week I have NOTHING. Literally nothing. Too much work, too little sleep (self-inflicted), and a general sense of mild annoyance at the whole UKIP thing that we've worken up to today means that you can get straight to the GOOD stuff (ie the stuff that doesn't really have anything to do with me. Go on, be grateful. YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE AND ENJOY THE BANK HOLIDAY UNTIL YOU'VE READ EVERYTHING (that's not true, I promise). 

Have a lovely 3 day weekend, webmongs, particularly those of you heading to this on Sunday. ENJOY YOURSELVES!

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Web Curios 26/04/13

Web Curios 26/04/13

I AM BACK! You're lucky that I'm on a tight deadline this week, so you're not going to have to suffer anywhere near as much as usual with the poorly constructed attempts to pull together an opening narrative. Suffice it to say, though, that I learned a lot in my absence - about abhorrent rapper Pitbull's inexplicable popularity in the Americas; about the fact that there really are songs played in public these days which would make the OutHere Brothers blush; about how there is almost no song in the world that can't be improved by being covered in Spanish with a lounge/bossanova backing...like Bohemian Rhapsody, for example. So much. But most of all I have learnt that I really quite like being away from the internet for a fortnight. You should try it, it's healthy.

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Web Curios 05/04/13

Web Curios 05/04/13

Last weekend was Easter. Ah, Easter. It's amazing how quickly the glow of a 4-day weekend can fade in the face of the annual cavalcade of companies lying to us and pretending its funny, though - also, for an April Fool to count doesn't there have to be at least some possibility, however minimal, that someone might believe the 'hoax'? Anyway, it made me angry, just like this person.

BUT then I got distracted by the saddest life in all of the world, a young man who's putting an early but spirited challenge for the title of worst human being on the entire planet (and that's including the man who wants to kill us all with BOMBS), the most horrible article of clothing ever devised, the best art gallery cafe EVER, the greatest Ninja in all of the Western World, the strange case of the man who got high on music, the oddest fetish-meme I've seen in a long, long time, and a truly unlikely - and unpleasant sounding - fatal argument between friends in Russia.

Of course, then I properly looked into the benefits reforms that kicked in this week, read this piece on the concentration of the super-rich around the world (circa 0.1% of Londoners have more than $30million in the bank, fact fans), and watched as people use a really sad story as a political football and got all depressed again. But it's ok, though, as I am going on holiday for two weeks tomorrow. 

Yes, that's right, it will be 3 WHOLE WEEKS until your next dose of Web Curios. I've made sure to make this one EXTRA GOOD, though (I haven't really, it's the same old tired collection of accumulated scraps and poorly-worked prose as it ever was). In my absence, feel free to mount some sort of candlelit vigil. Anyway, without further ado, let's give the internet a colonoscopy TOGETHER!

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Web Curios 22/03/13

Web Curios 22/03/13

Well, it's been another tumultuous week (aren't they ever thus), what with the export of the very best of Western Culture into China (truly, we have nothing left to give them), the opening of the best / worst-named restaurant in the world, the International Day of Happiness (WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T NOTICE) and NYC Macaron Day (why we don't have one of these in London is a source of much agitation to me), the sad cancellation of what sounded like being an amazing gig, my realisation that there exists an anonymous confessions hotline in New York (I WANT ONE HERE PLEASE), and the discovery of the all-important recipe for home-made creme eggs.

There's also, of course, been the small matters of the Bread & Circuses budget, a little bit of chat about the regulation of the press, the 10-year anniversary of Iraq War II...oh, yes, and the small and frankly absolutely insane vision of a whole country mugging itself. The Cyprus stuff is quite scary, to be honest, and given that it might drag us all into the mire with it I'm going to stop thinking about it now and move on to talking about stuff that, by comparison, is of no importance whatsoever. I know my place.

I went to see Louis CK last night (he was very good). He does a bit about how people present the very worst version of themselves online - we were discussing this in the pub afterwards, and my friend Mo charmingly said that I was quite the opposite and was basically loads better on the internet than in real life. YOU HEAR THAT, PEOPLE? THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST OF ME YOU'RE GETTING HERE. Be grateful.

 

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Web Curios 15/03/13

Web Curios 15/03/13

So, we have a new spate of 'parody' Twitter accounts ushering in the new Pontiff. Thanks, everyone. It was a very surreal week in general, and one which made me incredibly glad that I wasn't tasked with liveblogging smoke (that sounds like an analogy for something, and possibly ought to become one) - welcome, though, to Francis I from the internet and, most importantly, from the creative geniuses at Taiwan Animation (click on this, now. It features Dennis Rodman and a unicorn, and an unexpected reference to NBA Jam and references to the GAY VATICAN CABAL THAT FORCED BENEDICT FROM THE PAPACY (their words, not mine) - and still manages to be nowhere near as patently odd as the rigmarole surrounding papal succession).

 

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Web Curios 08/03/13

Web Curios 08/03/13

HELLO! Web Curios has returned! You may not have noticed its brief absence last week, but it missed you. Oh yes. 

Anyway, the main thing that I realised in my momentary absence is that I may never be able to take 4 days away from the internet EVER AGAIN. It's been said before, but this stuff really does move fast. Can I be the first person to advocate for a Slow Internet movement, perhaps one where we agree to turn it off for 2 days out of every seven so that people like me can take a break for 96 hours and not feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the first 25 seconds of this scene from Total Recall when we try and catch up? Because really, I spent Monday night going through 4 days' worth of this stuff, and it felt a little like taking a punch in the face (upsettingly, I have a very good idea of what that feels like). As a result, there may be things in this Web Curios that are not 100% new and fresh - I can only apologise, and present my metaphorical cheeks to you for a chastening slap. I'M SORRY

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Web Curios 22/02/13

Web Curios 22/02/13

Well, the future is here. A future in which we as a species are overwhelmed my a raft of incredibly tawdry first-person bongo flicks. Come on, we all know that within a matter of hours of Google Glass being made available to the general public there will be a comedically-named website compiling the hundreds of thousands of 'erotic' home movies which the world's exhibitionists have seen fit to foist on us. Don't try and fight it, it's what we've been evolving towards for millennia. Not that any of the people shilling for a test pair will admit it - can someone please make a more accurate version of this Twitter feed, please? Thanks.


But that's not all that's happened this week. We've seen another, almost even more scifi, aspect of the future unveiled; we've seen the media gripped by a debate that has proven beyond all reasonable doubt that here in the UK our own media are engaged in an almost daily attempt to troll us; we've moved a week closer to being able to wave goodbye to good 'ol Benny and start looking forward to his successor; we've hopefully finished with the whole bloody Harlem Shake thing (as an aside, is this a new record for the time taken for a meme moving from new and fresh to insufferably played out?); we've revisited and remixed one of the more odious advertising trends of the 90s; we've arrived at what can only be described as the apotheosis of televisual entertainment; we've perfected the cat delivery system which the internet has been waiting for; the line between advertising and horror became blurred to the point of indistinguishability; and I discovered the ULTIMATE version of Believe by Cher (no joke).

All of that OBVIOUSLY pales into insignificance before the majesty of all the rest of the stuff that's been going on now, which I'm about to tell you about in migraine-inducing detail (prepare the darkened room now, you may need it). Don't worry, though - I, and by extension Web Curios, am on holiday next week, so you have a whole extra 7 days in which to recover from this edition. Oh, in the meantime, should anyone want the two spare tickets I've got to see Momus on Friday 1st March in East London then please get in touch with me on Twitter. He gives great gig, honest.

Right. Let's get to it. If we all grit our teeth we can probably survive this with only minor psychological scarring.

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Web Curios 15/02/13

Web Curios 15/02/13

Surprise horseSurprise pontiffSurprise Pistorius! Oh, ok, so the horse stuff can no longer be considered in any way surprising, but that aside it's been a week of MASSIVE SHOCKS. I hope that you've managed to cope, and that you had a wonderful Valentine's Day and got beautiful, thoughtful gifts from whoever is closest to your heart, or that you finally came to accept the fact that you - and by extension everyone else - are alone in a godless universe and that you will still be alone when you die; either/or, really. 

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Web Curios 08/02/13

Hello! For those of you who've not read one of these before, this is Web Curios and I'm Matt. Pleasure to meet you. Web Curios is a weekly digest of stuff I have found interesting on the internet this week - there's not really much more of a coherent philosophy behind it than that, but if you'd like to make one up then that's fine by me. It's pretty self-explanatory, although I probably should point out that you don't *have* to click on every link (unless, of course, you have A LOT of time on your hands. Which you might do. I have no idea who you are, after all) - think of it as an internet buffet of sorts. Probably one of those weird flourescent oriental ones that you see ill-advised tourists over-indulging at in Chinatown on Sundays, but with slightly less MSG.

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